Grateful, Re-directed, Focused

These three words sum up how I am feeling; grateful, re-directed, and focused.

Grateful:
I cannot explain how thankful I am for all the love, support, and prayers Phil and I have received since we lost Jacob. I really wanted to share what was going on in our lives, as it very much defined the last week or so and is helping form our future. I did NOT expect that my blog post would have over 520 views, that so many people would take the time to private message me, and that through a time of sorrow we would come out the other side knowing each other more deeply. We are still processing our loss and working through the stages of grief. They have been extremely evident in me and I have been able to recognize them as they have come so far, allowing me to communicate with Phil.

Please know that we so appreciate all your kind words, questions, checking in, and prayers. I do not think we will ever be able to fully express our appreciation, you have been amazing. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Re-directed:
Our life has taken a few sharp, unexpected turns lately. It has left me feeling hazy and confused. This weekend Phil and I sat down and talked for hours about our future and what we want it to look like. (If you know anything about me, you know this kind of conversation is necessary for me!) We shared opinions, discussed options, and made tentative plans. We fully understand that God can always change our plans, but we hope and pray that our plan is always aligned with his, and if we get off target we know he will guide us back to where we need to be. It feels great to have some landmarks for us to aim for and work towards.

Focused:
I am determined. I will not allow the trials I have endured this year pull me down. I will not be the girl that had a tough year and gave up. I will not be a sob story.
I will continue to press on, growing in all areas. I will continue to and better cling to God, becoming a more Godly woman. I will use the lessons learned to help myself, but more importantly, help others. And surely, because we live in a broken world, I will walk towards new trials.

Because I have been re-directed and am now focused, I have some work to do. I have goals and I will meet those goals. Most of them are personal and unfortunately I can't share them with the world just yet. But, I can share my health goals!

I have been pretty open about my weight struggle and my Weight Watchers journey since January. Between January and June, I lost 25 pounds, but after taking the summer 'off', I have gained back about 5 pounds. I am pretty pleased with those results. I was not exercising regularly and ate quite satisfactorily all July and August (I'm surprised I only gained back 5!) I always wanted to lose weight and be healthy before I got pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant, I was kind of bummed I wasn't in better health, but knew I could still work on it throughout the pregnancy. Now that I am not pregnant, I have a very obvious chance to work on my health!

I talked about doing a 5k before, but never committed to it. I was a wuss, I didn't want to do it unless I had someone to run with me. Now that doesn't matter anymore. Of course I hope to have friends to run with, but I will run a 5k by myself if I have to! I have registered for two different 5k's! I have 11 weeks until the first one, the Turkey Day 5k, and the 2nd is two weeks later, the Santa Hustle. I have a training program on my phone to help me work up to the 5k, and I'm pretty nervous, I've never run more than 1 mile before! I also have a few body weight exercises planned out for this month to do after my training program. I will be re-starting WW too!

I feel empowered and am so excited for this fall and all that it will bring! Please continue to check in, ask how my training is going, and pray!